the ice pirates

Director: stewart raffill

Actor: robert urich,mary crosby,michael d. roberts,anjelica huston

Data Published: Fri Mar 16 1984

Genres: Action,Adventure,Comedy,Romance,Sci-Fi

Key Words: castration,ice,time dilation,conveyor belt,post apocalypse

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087451/

WIKI: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ice_Pirates

Description: The Ice Pirates is a movie starring Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, and Michael D. Roberts. In a distant future scarce of water, space pirates get caught after stealing ice from a spaceship. They are sold to a princess looking for her...

Plot: The film takes place in a distant future where water is so scarce and rationed that it is considered an immensely valuable substance, both as a commodity and as a currency in ice cubes. The Templars of Mithra control the water and they destroy worlds that have natural water, leaving the galaxy virtually dry. Pirates dedicate their lives to raiding ships and looting the ice from the cargo holds to make a living. Jason (Robert Urich) is the leader of a band of pirates that raid a Templar cruiser for its ice, and discover the beautiful princess Karina (Mary Crosby) in a stasis pod. He decides to kidnap her, waking her up, and alarming the Templars. Jason and his pirates flee, but are pursued by Templar ships. Jason lets some of his crew, Maida (Anjelica Huston) and Zeno (Ron Perlman), escape while Roscoe (Michael D. Roberts) stays to help Jason. Both Jason and Roscoe are captured. During their capture, they meet Killjoy (John Matuszak) who has been pretending to be a monk to avoid being a slave. Jason and Roscoe are sentenced to become slaves, a process which includes castration. Roscoe and Jason are spared this fate by the spoiled princess, who has taken an interest in them. Princess Karina purchases them as her slaves, to work as servants during her party. That evening, they are reunited with Killjoy (disguised as a robot). Jason, Karina, Roscoe, Killjoy and Nanny manage to leave the planet before the Supreme Commander (John Carradine) arrives to arrest her. Princess Karina hires Jason so she can find her father, who has gone missing while searching for the so-called "Third Planet:" a lost, mythic world rumored to contain vast reserves of water. The existence of such a world would threaten the Templars water monopoly, and therefore their hold on power. At some point, Jason keeps a secret that a nasty creature is hiding in their spaceship. Later, they are about to eat a turkey when something bursts out of it and runs away. Someone asks, "What was that?" Jason replies, "space herpes." On their next planet, Jason and Roscoe are reunited with their fellow pirates, Maida and Zeno. They proceed to locate the "lost" planet, which contains massive amounts of water. The planet must be approached on a specific course or the ship will be suspended in time forever. The course apparently contains some sort of real or illusory time distortion (resulting in both the heroes and the villains reaching old age during the climactic battle). In the end, the day is saved by the now-adult son of Karina and Jason, the result of a romantic tryst just before entering the time distortion field. As the heroes exit the field, everyone's ages regress to what they originally were, leaving Jason and Karina with the knowledge that they will have a child together.