the love guru

Director: marco schnabel

Actor: mike myers,jessica alba,romany malco,jessica simpson

Data Published: Fri Jun 20 2008

Genres: Comedy,Romance,Sport

Key Words: guru,bucket of popcorn,bloopers during credits,office,toronto ontario

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811138/

WIKI: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Love_Guru

Description: The Love Guru is a movie starring Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, and Romany Malco. Pitka, an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge is to...

Plot: Guru Pitka is the #2 Guru in the world, after Deepak Chopra. A flashback shows that Pitka was an orphan, taught by Guru Tugginmypudha. When the twelve year old Pitka announces he wants to become a Guru so that girls will love him, Tugginmypudha puts a chastity belt on him until he can learn that loving himself is more important than being loved by others. Pitka's dream is to become the number #1 Guru and appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show. He lives a charmed life with thousands of followers, including the celebrities Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer and Mariska Hargitay. His teachings, which involve simplistic acronyms and plays on words, are displayed in PowerPoint slide shows. In Canada, Jane Bullard inherits the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team, who are on a losing streak; her star player, Darren Roanoke, has been playing badly ever since his wife Prudence left him for the rival Los Angeles Kings player, Jacques "Lè Cocq" Grandè. Jane is a big fan of Pitka's, and offers to pay him $2 million to patch up Darren's marriage, so the team can win the Stanley Cup. Pitka's agent tells him that if he succeeds, Oprah will have him on her show. Pitka encourages the rival team to beat Darren up during a game, to distract him from his distress over his wife’s affair. Darren begins to play well but then gets suspended for the next two games after beating up Le Cocq, and hitting Coach Cherkov with a hockey puck. Later, Pitka has dinner with Jane. He tries to kiss her, only to hear a ding on his chastity belt. Upset when he tells her their love cannot be, she runs out. Pitka advises Darren to write an apology to Prudence, and fights off a rooster to deliver the letter. After they lose three games, Coach Cherkoff berates Jane and punches Pitka in the groin. He is only slightly injured from hitting the chastity belt but Pitka moans and drops to the ground. Pitka and Darren attempt a confrontation, but her invective ends up scaring both of them away. Pitka helps Darren realise that since his mother only showed him love when he succeeded he had grown to believe Prudence would only love him as long as he won. Pitka than drives himself and Darren to Niagra Falls for a "Heart to Heart". With time running out, Pitka distracts Le Cocq with his idol, Celine Dion, then tells Prudence that Darren stood up to his mom, encouraging her to return to her husband. During the lead up to the final game, Le Cocq, having heard that Darren cannot play with his mother in the audience, gets her to sing the national anthem, causing Darren to flee. At the airport on his way to guest on Oprah, Pritka sees the news on television and defies his agent by going back to help Darren. After smoothing things over with his mother, Darren recovers until Le Cocq brags that Prudence prefers him in bed. Darren freezes and Pitka realizes he needs another distraction, which he provides by getting two elephants to have sex in the middle of the rink, in front of the live TV audience. Darren wakes up from his stupor and scores the winning goal. After the game, Pitka makes up with Jane and Coach Cherkov, then meets Deepak Chopra and decides that he is fine with being the first Guru Pitka instead of the next Deepak Chopra. Back in India, Guru Tugginmypudha tells Pitka that he has finally learned to love himself and removes Pitka's chastity belt, revealing there was a hook in the back. The film ends with Jane and Pitka dancing together in a Bollywood style number to a rendition of "The Joker".